When A Romantic Relationship is Everything
When A Romantic Relationship is Everything
It’s been awhile since I posted a blog on here, but I do think that maybe someday someone might read these words, and the glory can go to God. Maybe there’s another lonely heart out there that needs to hear these words. All I know is that Jesus loves you so much that He died for you. The love you and I are seeking for is found in Him. If, however, you find yourself struggling a bit in this area – feeling unloved – then I ask you to read this message I’m about to give. I hope it brings you comfort in your loneliness and peace in your struggle. Here we go…
So, recently, I’ve struggled with the hopes I’ve had for my life—dreams to get married, have kids…really to have the life I’ve always wanted. And, while sometimes I beat myself up for these thoughts, worrying that they are not godly but worldly, these aren’t the worst thoughts a person could have. BUT with that being said, God makes it clear in His Word that “‘You shall have no other gods before me’” (Exodus 20:3), and in the New Testament it states the following:
Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment.” - Matthew 22:37-38
And yet, here we often find ourselves stuck in the rut of seeking earthly love—especially romantic love. We sometimes look for any love that is tangible at the moment and can suit our deepest needs. Sometimes it feels attainable at times. Whether it’s holding hands with your crush, watching a movie, or even kissing. But then, all too suddenly, we come to the reality that we live in a broken world, and the love that we thought we knew becomes broken too.
Listen, there’s nothing wrong with romantic love. I think it is a beautiful thing that God has created for us down here on earth. The problem is not recognizing it’s a beautiful thing…the problem is thinking it is EVERYTHING. There lies the problem.
After all, it is clear there will be no marriage in our eternal future: “At the resurrection people will neither marry nor be given in marriage…” (Matthew 22:30). This isn’t to bring you down or make you sad, this is just to put our minds in the correct perspective here. Marriage (romantic relationship goals) are not the ultimate goal here. This should be good news to you and I because if you’ve ever been in a relationship, you’d know that they can be very difficult and hard.
To be fair, I think marriage is a gift. There is no denying the beautiful things that can result from marriage: intimacy, ministry partner, children, etc. So don’t get me wrong here, I’m a fan of marriage!! 😊 “Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows” (James 1:17).
Do you remember in another post I talk about balance? This is the same when it comes to placing value on marriage. It is honoring it, but not idolizing it…does that make sense?
Okay, let me share with you a diagram I came up with (I believe with God’s help because otherwise, I don’t see how I could come up with this, haha). To make you feel a bit better about your own singleness, let me share with you my own mistakes. In the diagram, you will see how I have typically dealt with a relationship on my own. You will also see where I plan to make a change (in orange):
So, as you see here, I need to make a change and start remembering that my identity is in God alone. It relaxes me. It allows me to see things better. I begin to not feel the need to control things because I remember Who is in control. I start to seek His guidance more, knowing that He knows best.
Most of all, I start living in the now rather than just reminiscing on the past or daydreaming for the future. Instead of becoming fixated on dates, I become someone worth dating because I no longer am so shallow to think that this is all that life has to give. I begin to see Kingdom building as my ultimate goal – and if this other person is up for the challenge, great! If not, then departing is not the end for me. I am still greatly loved by a King, the Prince of peace…Jesus Himself.
So, I hope that wherever you are reading this, you know that Jesus desperately loves you and wants to be in a relationship with you. You have the Word of God at your fingertips with beautiful promises. Don’t just take my word for it, experience this for yourself. Remember, it’s not about perfection but progression. :) God sees that you want a relationship with Him, and I believe He’ll reward you in that.
God bless, friend, and remember that God is only a pray away!
~ Sister in Christ
