Wrestling with God
22 And he arose that night and took his two wives, his two female servants, and his eleven sons, and crossed over the ford of Jabbok. 23 He took them, sent them over the brook, and sent over what he had. 24 Then Jacob was left alone; and a Man wrestled with him until the breaking of day. 25 Now when He saw that He did not prevail against him, He touched the socket of his hip; and the socket of Jacob’s hip was out of joint as He wrestled with him. 26 And He said, “Let Me go, for the day breaks.”
But he said, “I will not let You go unless You bless me!”
27 So He said to him, “What is your name?”
He said, “Jacob.”
28 And He said, “Your name shall no longer be called Jacob, but Israel; for you have struggled with God and with men, and have prevailed.”
29 Then Jacob asked, saying, “Tell me Your name, I pray.”
And He said, “Why is it that you ask about My name?” And He blessed him there.
30 So Jacob called the name of the place Peniel: “For I have seen God face to face, and my life is preserved.” 31 Just as he crossed over Penuel the sun rose on him, and he limped on his hip. 32 Therefore to this day the children of Israel do not eat the muscle that shrank, which is on the hip socket, because He touched the socket of Jacob’s hip in the muscle that shrank.
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Interesting story, right? I have always kind of skimmed over this story in the Bible, kind of unsure what to think about it. So Jacob wrestles God…is that okay? Is this a good thing?
But as I struggle with OCD, I can’t help but relate to this part of the Bible. It seems like I’ve had to wrestle (and by wrestle, I mean, seek the Lord hard) to get over this torture-filled disease. I have my good days and my bad days. There are times I take a step back and I seek God with all I have in me. I listen to encouraging videos (namely, “Purpose for Grace” found on YouTube), and I saturate my mind with healing words, sermons and Bible verses that push back the dark.
At times, it may feel like wresting with God. But I think that is the beauty found in the wasteland of OCD. OCD is bad (a devilish thing) don’t get me wrong, but God can use what is bad and turn it into good. I see my deliverance through the difficult times. It’s not over.
If you are struggling with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, a mental disorder, anxiety, depression, or anything else, remember: it is okay to wrestle with God. I use wrestle in good terms (not blaming Him, etc.) but honestly seeking Him with your whole heart.
“But from there you will seek the LORD your God, and you will find Him if you seek Him with all your heart and with all your soul.” Deuteronomy 4:29
Additional Encouragement:
MUST WATCH…PLEASE!! A good video I watched [Grace for Purpose]: https://youtu.be/K2c3KqI9ELU
From video... “I need to ask this question before we move on: Is anybody that within the last 6 months to a year, have gone through a major battle, a major attack of the enemy?” …I highly recommend seeing the whole video (14:44).