Do you really want to be in a relationship while experiencing OCD?
After all, as one man put it, OCD affected his “marriage, faith, and I was very confused.”
I think anyone of us with the desire to someday get married and have children and live a God-honoring life want a romantic relationship. I guess the question we need to ask ourselves is the following: are we really ready for such a commitment?
While this world is never “perfect,” I know that, for me, I ended up with a lot of hurt down the road as I tried to have a romantic relationship and tried to ignore the giant of OCD in my life. Now, we have broken up, and I’m free to use this season in my life to really ask the hard questions in my life and seek healing.
OCD hurts. It hurts the sufferer immensely. From this article I read, it pointed out this important Bible verse that I think all OCD sufferers should read:
“To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” 2 Corinthians 12:7-9
It is so easy to question God in this journey. How could You let me get here? How could you allow this torment? But when you begin to see it is an act of grace, suddenly your test becomes your testimony, your hurt a message of healing, and your mess a message.
Interestingly, the author of this post stated… “OCD uses the very things you find morally wrong against you. These people are actually some of the safest people.” I think for a lot of us with OCD, we want to naturally isolate. But when we realize that who we are—deep down, not the OCD—we have the potential to be a really good romantic partner. However, if we don’t address these problems, we’re giving the enemy access to our lives. How can we expect someone to love us if we are not showing who we truly are but are letting demons create fear in us? We become a fear-based person, not a faith-based person. Who can fall in love with that? Can we blame them?
These questions can sink the heart of the OCD sufferer. Am I that bad? Does it make the other person great and make me so much more inferior? Here is a wonderful realization I came to upon reading this article: “It’s not me, it’s my OCD.” You know the saying: It’s not you, it’s me. Well, what if we changed that line: It’s not you, it’s your OCD. What if failed relationships aren’t really you, but the OCD. What if it’s the OCD that needs to be addressed and destroyed.
“But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead,” Philippians 3:13
What a verse! Some might not think of Paul as someone dealing with OCD, but the more I read Paul’s words, the more I can relate as a sufferer of OCD. Paul might have struggled a lot with feelings of guilt. After all, he had let Steven be killed in his early days and that might have given him reason to feel sorry. I know that I recently have had feelings of guilt. I think with OCD, we do compulsions to “make things right.” However, this becomes exhausting after awhile. There’s only so much we can do and then compulsions can become really bizarre and out of whack causing us more distress. When we look at this verse, we see that, like Paul, we can leave the past in the past. It’s time to look at what’s ahead.
How do we do that? The author adds his helpful insight: “I believe we do this by focusing on the mission Christ gave us and what we can do now to strain towards that.” Never in my own life did I think reaching out to those online about OCD would be my main mission/assignment in life. No offense, but I wanted some of the praised ministries like children’s or high school ministry. I would love to be around people, getting praised—not online where the glory is far from me. And yet, that’s exactly what ministry needs to be about: God Himself, the Healer. It’s funny how He leads us in ways we never dreamed possible.
The author ends with this quote: “God has transformed me and I am now grateful as this continues to bring me closer to Him.”
What if OCD brings us closer to God because He is all we have left? I had tried to open up to my boyfriend about my struggles with OCD a little more than a month ago. It wasn’t long before we had broken up. Not everyone may understand OCD, but now is the time of healing. If you are in a position right now with no romantic partner, and you are seeking answers for what you are going through, I recommend using this time as precious treasure. Understand your OCD better so you can combat it. There are many answers available—for me, personally, 2 Corinthians 12:7-9 is a wonderful reminder for me during this time.
Reference
https://mikepattersonministry.com/2013/08/14/winning-my-battle-with-ocd-using-the-bible/
Here is the link to the article I reference in this post. I highly recommend reading it. It really helped me, and I hope it helps you as well. 😊